Orignial publish date: November 23, 2010
Here’s a little known fact in my world: I let my 16-year-old leave school after her sophomore year and take the GED exam. She had always had issues at school getting along with her peers and enjoying being a teenager. It just wasn’t happening. She felt a different kind of pressure than wanting to be popular or get good grades. She couldn’t relate to kids her own age, and she made problems and misery for herself for as long as I could remember. It broke my heart to see her feel so much like a square peg in a teeny, tiny round hole. She tried joining things, but inevitably failed—she got kicked off the basketball team, had fights with other kids, and forgot to go to various club meetings.
You name it, she tried it and she blew it. I could see my child would try to make friends, but they would inevitably tire of her attitude and how tough she was to get along with, and would phase out of her life—usually with negative repercussions to her reputation. My daughter would end up an outcast, would retreat to her negative behaviors, become angry and isolated, and act out somehow. I’d see her do anything from overeating to sneaking onto off-limits websites.
We did some things that were proactive; for example, she got her guidance counselor to approve her for a half day in school with the remainder of her classes to be conducted online. In addition, she would take more online classes to fulfill her senior level requirements so she could graduate a year early. This idea started off with a bang, but little by little the enormity of the workload and responsibility this required blew her mind and overwhelmed her. She was failing half the classes, and feeling more worthless, hopeless, and isolated than ever.
Out of the blue, I had a conversation with an objective friend of mine, who didn’t had never even met my daughter. I explained what we were going through, and he suggested, as if it was a no-brainer, that she get her GED. It was clear that she hated high school and was getting nothing out of it, and that she was smart (in fact, she had tested as gifted). It was against my grain, as I value education, have an education, and have worked in the field of education since 1989. My daughter get her GED? That was preposterous!
Nevertheless, I looked into it, and brought up the idea to my daughter. She was wild with excitement over the idea. We found out when, where, how much, etc. and got ready. She even prepped for the testing ON HER OWN! While others struggled with the exam, she passed everything on the first try and was officially done with high school in a few short hours. She was elated—no, that’s not even a strong enough word.
There have been some happy changes since she left high school and got her GED, so I know in my heart it was a good move. However, it’s still a secret that I don’t even tell my best friend. Everyone knew my daughter was taking online classes, but no one knew she was failing and stopped. So, we lie! We tell everyone that she graduated early because that’s just how smart and clever she is! I’m not a liar in general, but in this case, I’m making an exception for the good of the order.