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I Am Two Mothers, Part 3 (of 3)

I Am Two Mothers, Part 3 (of 3)

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1/22/2011 The mother with the troubled daughter is aware that her daughter is manipulative and knows when to turn on the charm. The attitude is sweet and sugary when she wants something or is about to knowingly do something wrong. The sweetness thwarts suspicion and stops this mom like kryptonite. This mother also faces an ugly, black attitude when the daughter doesn’t like what she hears. The attitude comes with razor-sharp words, condescension, and flippant disrespect that pushes every button…

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I Am Two Mothers, Part 2 (of 3)

I Am Two Mothers, Part 2 (of 3)

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1/21/2011 The mother with the troubled daughter is suspicious of anyone her daughter calls “friend.” Their experience has been almost entirely negative—the daughter plus any one of those friends equals raves, drugs, sexual activity, various illegal activity, curfew violations, smoking, drinking, and general badness. The friendships have not lasted, usually because someone has caused another to get into trouble, and the drama and hard feelings cause the flimsy bonds to disintegrate. The friendships are based on nothing solid—no emotional ties,…

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I Am Two Mothers, Part 1 (of 3)

I Am Two Mothers, Part 1 (of 3)

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1/21/2011 I have a split personality, minus the mental illness (though some days I’m not so sure about that). I am two mothers in one body—one mother whose daughter is more of a challenge than she should have to handle, and another mother who hides this reality from the world. The mother with the troubled daughter worries to the point of having ulcers, muscle aches, heart aches, hours of weeping, and bouts of anxiety. She lies awake at night wondering…

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Same %$#&, Different Day

Same %$#&, Different Day

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1/21/2011 Yesterday, I stayed home from work because I didn’t feel well—backache, stomachache, headache. It gave me an opportunity to spend the morning with my daughter in a non-rushed, like-old-times kind of way. She was in a great mood, represented by how gorgeous she looked when she got ready for work. She had such a big smile and looked so pretty that I took a photo of her and posted it on Facebook. Off to work she went in all…

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Whelp, That Was Fast; She Moved Back Home

Whelp, That Was Fast; She Moved Back Home

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1/13/2011 Here’s an update I didn’t think I’d be making any time soon. My “troubled teen,” whom I thought had made it in the big world is BACK HOME. I definitely have many mixed feelings about it. I was beginning to get used to the peace and cleanliness in my house (not the quiet). It was effortless to be home—for over a month it was orderly, organized, clean, and good-smelling. There were no children, no big dirty shoes, no litter…

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New Year? Please, No New Trouble!

New Year? Please, No New Trouble!

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1/3/2011 One thing that has strengthened the relationship between my formerly troubled daughter and me is a regular Sunday brunch together. No matter what, we clear time on our calendars to spend time together. It doesn’t matter if we’re super tired, have a cold, have PMS, or anything else, we make it happen. I’m very proud to say that my daughter initiated this practice, and it has been going strong for several months. She adamantly tells her friends and roommates…

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