1/29/2018 The worst part, and this is so terrible, is that she even lied about who she stayed with when she came home. Her sister ratted on her, so this is how I know, but I have to pretend not to know, which is emotionally painful and makes me physically ill. She cheated on her inappropriate boyfriend with her old boyfriend, whom I used to like, but now has learned to treat her like shit because she allows it. She stayed with him in a tent or something on his friend’s yard and slept with him. How vile and low can you get?

When she got home, she fell very ill; she was throwing up, nauseated, tired, weak, and in a lot of pain. For a week, she was at doctors’ offices, urgent cares, and the ER trying to get help. She was in the ER all of Monday, January 22 (this wasn’t a lie; she shared her location with me via iPhone), and was in touch with me regularly. She even cried that she needed her mommy. However, when I offered to fly up, she dismissed that pretty quickly. She had some kind of infection and was convinced she had meningitis (but she was vaccinated as a kid), but ultimately it turns out that the main issue is an ulcer—a bleeding ulcer and she had a severe migraine. She’s now on a bland diet and some medications, which I hope she continues with.

I happened to talk to her sister about these medical issues because I was so worried. No matter what a liar and loser my daughter may be, I still love her and was thinking the worst and couldn’t relax, let alone sleep. My other daughter is sometimes a good sounding board and the often the voice of reason.

Older sister has a habit of calling a spade a spade. She told me that during her trip home, little sister got a bad infection from the old boyfriend, no, a virus: yep, you got it. She has herpes on top of everything. Little sister is very upset about her new STD, but it doesn’t stop her from continuing to pine away for the guy even while living with the “new” guy that I’m not supposed to know about. During the time she was in the ER and was texting me, she said, “You know, I’ve been thinking about coming home.” What??? Are you effing kidding me? She hates it here. Hates the people. Hates me. Hated her job. Hates the weather. Hates the memories. She wanted to grow up, try something new, blah, blah, blah. I’m not stupid. She wants to chase after that guy and run away from her problems that she creates everywhere she goes.

She’s calmed down from that, and vows that this week she’s going to find a new job (I’m pretty sure she’s been fired from the old one, though try to get a straight answer on that), and will make this change and that change . . . I heard it all before. I’ve heard the inappropriate boyfriend moved out as well. How will I ever know the truth?
Is there any hope for her . . . and any for me?