5/25/22 It’s absolutely amazing what can change in just a month. In the last four weeks, my formerly troubled daughter has gone from being in a toxic relationship and on the brink of losing her footing at work because of her personal life to living in her own apartment and being offered a new job in a large, multi-state company with a salary almost 20K more than she earns now!
First, she recognized how unhealthy her relationship was. He was critical of her and belittled her at every turn, was unstable emotionally, and was a drug addict and an alcoholic. His behavior was irrational and damaging, and they went from going hiking and having dates to eating in separate rooms at dinner. It was a mess, and she opened her eyes to see see what was in front of her. She had the hard conversation, despite still feeling love and concern for him, and broke up with him on her terms and her own timeline.
With the help of her stepfather and me, she moved her belonging out of the ex’s house, stored the excess stuff in a storage facility, and lived in a long-term hotel for a few weeks. It was safe, close to work, and had everything she needed–laundry, wifi, cleaning service . . .
She was eager to be in her own place, so she found an apartment that she could afford (rents are sky high where we live, so it’s not my favorite neighborhood, but she likes it) that has enough space for her to have a home office. I helped her get some major things like a new bed, a desk, and some silverware. We spent a little time cleaning and decorating, and she is very happy there so far.
The BEST part of this whole thing is that she’s been 100% clean for five weeks (or more). She has to pass a drug test for the job offer to be final, so she stopped everything the minute she interviewed for the job. It’s been one week since the drug test, and she’s panicking that there’s still THC in her system, but I’m feeling hopeful. She aced the interviews, one in which she had to make a presentation (that I put together, so what??), and they loved her. She’s so smart and clever, and she’s a joy to be around now that she’s sober. It’s like having a new daughter, and I miss her when I don’t talk to her. So, all the times I thought she was sober before, I now know she was NOT. Her personality is as adorable as it was BEFORE she was a tween and started on this road.
Are we here? Are we there? Oh, God in heaven, please say yes!