12/16/2011 So what the hell is wrong with me? Today is my daughter’s official move out day and, despite all my cheering that I couldn’t wait for this to finally happen, I actually feel like crying. I love her soooooo much and already miss her and am worried sick about her being on her own. Despite knowing logically that she’s smart and savvy, and can handle the responsibility, it’s the same as admitting that she doesn’t need me anymore. She’s…
Credit: Nancy Darling, PhD, (2011), http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/thinking-about-kids/201110/teens-respond-pleasure-not-pain-parent-accordingly 10/21/2011 It’s not often that I read a scientific paper and immediately change how I parent my child. But I did last week. I was reading a series of pieces by developmental psychologist, Laurence Steinberg, first recipient of the Klaus Jacobs award for “groundbreaking contributions to the improvement of the living conditions of young people.” Steinberg has spent his career studying adolescents. His early work focused on the family—how teens renegotiate family relations during the pubertal transition (kids…
10/21/2011 I agonized a bit over how to broach the subject of the tattoo with “troubled teen.” At first I was angry and wanted to lecture and yell like the old me. Then, after a day went by (we sometimes go two or three days without crossing paths, so this was normal), I was calmer. I talked to my boyfriend who’s had his share of experiences in this regard, and he shed some light on the subject. Our discussion, if…
10/17/2011 I truly don’t know what to do about this current situation. If you refer back to my post about the lies my daughter has told me thus far, I wrote that post while in a tongue-in-cheek mood, as if I was only “looking back” on bad times and that they were over. Well, I just bit my tongue and it hurts. There was a big juicy lie on that list—the one that says she doesn’t have a tattoo; after all, she said,…
8/8/2011 I am a mother in despair, in a crisis emotionally and it’s taken me two days to process why I had another lost weekend, time I will never get back. As usual, there’s a long, involved reason. Last week, my “troubled teen” had her final (??) day in court, for what they call a pre-adjudication hearing. Essentially, she had to plead guilty for a shoplifting charge, apologize for it, and they would formally drop all the other pending charges. Then…
7/11/2011 Do parents who pry know more about their teen’s lives? Published on April 11, 2011 by Nancy Darling, Ph.D. in Thinking About Kids I knew my youngest was entering adolescence, when my daily mucking out of his backpack was met with a yell. “Get out! That’s MINE!” One of the hallmarks of adolescence is that teens demand—and parents grant them—more privacy. Children have few expectations for privacy from parents. Adolescents expect more. Late adolescents and adults expect a great deal of control over what information…
6/24/2011 This is a great question. What do you think? Would you? Cindy Anthony’s Testimony: Would You Lie for Your Child? June 24, 2011 10:11 am by Jenna Hatfield, BlogHer Original Post Yesterday, Casey Anthony’s mom, Cindy, dropped a bombshell on the Caylee Anthony murder trial. She said — under oath — that she was the one who searched for chloroform on the family computer. The prosecution has always used this as their form a smoking gun to prove intent on…
1/22/2011 Only a small skirmish with my daughter today, about trust. She worked this morning and like a good girl, came home afterward. She even checked in with her nana (even though Nana forgot she made that agreement with her) and helped me bake brownies. Today I spent the day getting ready for a little get-together I’m having, and it was understood that my daughter would be home. We did get along and my chill had warmed a little toward…