10/24/22 So here we are again. Six months after the whole world seemed to be full of rainbows and puppy dogs again. My dear younger daughter was on her way to success–new job, new apartment, good health, clean and sober. Well, to make a long story short, the time off marijuana wasn’t enough to pass a drug test for the new company, and it was a dealbreaker. Not only that, the company she was working for was a subcontractor of…
4/9/22 A few weeks ago, my husband and I were sitting at home after the workday, deciding if we were going to hike, work out, or go to yoga. Just a low-key, easy evening. It was interrupted by an emotional call from my formerly (and still sometimes) troubled daughter’s boyfriend, whom she lives with. He said he didn’t know what to do. They had gotten into a fight in the car after he picked her up from work and she…
12/10/2021 I’ve been reading through my posts from over the years, and I see some disturbing patterns both in myself and my daughter. No matter how old she is, and she’s two days away from 28 years old, she has a fully orchestrated routine. In the last year and a half, she’s definitely matured, so I give her that. Her good periods last much longer, and her reasoning skills are much better. Where she just can’t get it together is…
2/4/2019 She will just not let me rest in peace. Today is Monday, and I’m back at work after a very roller-coastery weekend. My husband and I had a lot of good times—went to a play, hiked a bunch, and even socialized with friends. However, my daughter started with some rather startling texts on Saturday morning, and I was sick with migraines for the rest of the weekend. I had to medicate to deal with the symptoms, and even slept…
9/18/2018 So one day I got a text message from my daughter that she would “answer all my questions,” but used some cryptic wording that got under my skin. I have a lot of questions for and about her on a regular basis, but in the interest in keeping a relationship, however thin, I hold back. Because one of the words she used was “rough,” I got nervous and couldn’t take it, so I called her. And she answered! She…
1/29/2018 The worst part, and this is so terrible, is that she even lied about who she stayed with when she came home. Her sister ratted on her, so this is how I know, but I have to pretend not to know, which is emotionally painful and makes me physically ill. She cheated on her inappropriate boyfriend with her old boyfriend, whom I used to like, but now has learned to treat her like shit because she allows it. She…
1/29/2018 Time for an update. Daughter has been in her new city nearly four months, and she’s not doing great—not following through on all the promises to me and to herself. She’s as behind as an adult as she ever was, the difference being I can’t see it first-hand. We had a crisis, though, so I had to swoop in . . . again . . . and for what? First the lies. Even though she’s 24, she still lies…
12/4/2017 I’m very proud of something my daughter did—for herself—that seems very healthy and forward-moving. She took herself to a psychiatrist to see about her depression and other issues. She asked me for medical background and history, and went to the doctor armed with information. They determined that she has ADHD and a binge-eating disorder. She’s been prescribed medication, which she’s now been on for a week. I look forward to seeing positive results of this treatment plan. I’m not a…
9/11/2017 I’ve said recently that I wish my daughter would just move away so I could breathe. She’s been talking about moving out of state for a very long time, but she decided to just do it. Not think too much, just go. Like within the month. She’s plotting and planning, updating her resume and applying for jobs, researching neighborhoods and applying for rentals, and planning when she’s going to give her notice at work. All of a sudden I’m…
9/8/2017 Have to write something or I’ll burst. It’s just amazing how things change from day to day. Yesterday I had a jumble of emotions and could hardly keep them in check. Thank heaven I had colonics yesterday, or it all would’ve been backed up to my ribcage. Speaking of colonics, I do have a problem with my system (stress, medication, age, genetics, stress, stress, anxiety, stress) so every once in a while I get cleaned out. I skipped a…