2/2/2011 Is it okay to go out of town for a few nights and leave this daughter to her own devices? I was originally supposed to go on a major vacation with my mother for two weeks, but because of political unrest (the trip was to Egypt), the tour was cancelled and our visit is postponed until further notice. So, I reduced my vacation time, but need a break pretty desperately. I want to get out of town and just…
1/24/2011 The honeymoon is officially over, but the marriage will last for sure. Yesterday was our “Sunday brunch” day that my dear daughter started a few months ago. Unfortunately, it was rather unpleasant and we never had brunch—not even breakfast or lunch. We did have a snack…does that count? After allowing her to sleep nearly 15 hours (in a row), she woke up in a foul mood. No matter how much I tried to not let it happen, her attitude…
1/22/2011 Only a small skirmish with my daughter today, about trust. She worked this morning and like a good girl, came home afterward. She even checked in with her nana (even though Nana forgot she made that agreement with her) and helped me bake brownies. Today I spent the day getting ready for a little get-together I’m having, and it was understood that my daughter would be home. We did get along and my chill had warmed a little toward…
1/22/2011 The mother with the troubled daughter is aware that her daughter is manipulative and knows when to turn on the charm. The attitude is sweet and sugary when she wants something or is about to knowingly do something wrong. The sweetness thwarts suspicion and stops this mom like kryptonite. This mother also faces an ugly, black attitude when the daughter doesn’t like what she hears. The attitude comes with razor-sharp words, condescension, and flippant disrespect that pushes every button…
1/21/2011 The mother with the troubled daughter is suspicious of anyone her daughter calls “friend.” Their experience has been almost entirely negative—the daughter plus any one of those friends equals raves, drugs, sexual activity, various illegal activity, curfew violations, smoking, drinking, and general badness. The friendships have not lasted, usually because someone has caused another to get into trouble, and the drama and hard feelings cause the flimsy bonds to disintegrate. The friendships are based on nothing solid—no emotional ties,…
1/21/2011 I have a split personality, minus the mental illness (though some days I’m not so sure about that). I am two mothers in one body—one mother whose daughter is more of a challenge than she should have to handle, and another mother who hides this reality from the world. The mother with the troubled daughter worries to the point of having ulcers, muscle aches, heart aches, hours of weeping, and bouts of anxiety. She lies awake at night wondering…
1/21/2011 Yesterday, I stayed home from work because I didn’t feel well—backache, stomachache, headache. It gave me an opportunity to spend the morning with my daughter in a non-rushed, like-old-times kind of way. She was in a great mood, represented by how gorgeous she looked when she got ready for work. She had such a big smile and looked so pretty that I took a photo of her and posted it on Facebook. Off to work she went in all…
1/19/2011 My dear daughter has been back at home for about a week now and it’s actually been a little difficult for me. Not that I don’t love having her around or know in my heart it’s where she belongs, it’s that she brings a storm with her. She’s not depressed anymore, so I’m not talking about a black cloud that surrounds her, I mean life just doesn’t seem orderly. She keeps odd hours, her room is a mess, her…
1/13/2011 Here’s an update I didn’t think I’d be making any time soon. My “troubled teen,” whom I thought had made it in the big world is BACK HOME. I definitely have many mixed feelings about it. I was beginning to get used to the peace and cleanliness in my house (not the quiet). It was effortless to be home—for over a month it was orderly, organized, clean, and good-smelling. There were no children, no big dirty shoes, no litter…
1/11/2011 My independent daughter is trying really hard to take care of herself and handle all the responsibilities of living on her own, paying her bills, tending to her three cats…but she’s asked me many times for “a few bucks.” I had to pay her rent this month because her hours were reduced at work and she simply didn’t have enough. When I asked her how much she needed, it was the entire amount. She’s seeing how expensive life and…