9/26/2012 How does so much time go by? Life changes so quickly and I keep forgetting to chronicle all the adventures and important minutiae. As of August 1, 2012, my formerly troubled teen moved back in with me. I asked her to, believe it or not. I didn’t like the way she was living—her apartment was dirty and, even though I went over to clean it every now and again, it was painful to see how gross she decided to…
9/26/2012 So we spent the months of June, July, and August a mess. My formerly troubled daughter had to get one last thing on her bucket list: an abortion. A few months ago, she started to complain about being really sick to her stomach, even vomiting all night. At first, I just thought she had eaten something nasty or caught something. But it kept happening. One day, I took her grocery shopping at WinCo. and she described some other symptoms…
1/9/2012 I’ve discovered the number-one reason to accept your empty nest status—it is the single best way to improve your relationships with your children, especially the troublesome ones. Suddenly, you see all your hard work, nurturing, guiding, and good sense flowing from your offspring. It’s sort of like when they were little—you’d send them to a friend’s house and the parents would tell you what great manners your child had, something you didn’t see so much at home! No longer…
12/22/2011 We celebrate Hanukkah—well, we used to. This year everything feels strange for me. The way I would explain it is I’ve been blindfolded and twirled for five full minutes then released. Now I’m utterly disoriented and have to carry on as if floor isn’t do-si-do-ing beneath me. I miss my children and the candlelighting and the gift-giving and the latke-making and the card-writing. I know that they had to grow up eventually, but I just didn’t think it would…
12/16/2011 So what the hell is wrong with me? Today is my daughter’s official move out day and, despite all my cheering that I couldn’t wait for this to finally happen, I actually feel like crying. I love her soooooo much and already miss her and am worried sick about her being on her own. Despite knowing logically that she’s smart and savvy, and can handle the responsibility, it’s the same as admitting that she doesn’t need me anymore. She’s…
12/15/2011 It’s the countdown to having a real empty nest. Not one of those false alarms from age 16, then age 17. This is a well thought-out version of my daughter moving out. Even though I don’t agree with some of her plans, she has solid plans this time and she’s actually being very mature about the situation. I have to give her credit and lots of respect for this. I also must give her due credit for being aware of money,…
11/23/2011 Today is Wednesday, but let me backtrack to Tuesday night. I’m a sucker. I won’t learn. I always trust, hope, and pray that things will be better. We didn’t fight Tuesday morning when I drove her to work. There was little communication throughout the day. This deserves a mention—until this past week, she was conscientious about calling me each day and updating me and just sort of checking in. Now the secretiveness is back in spades. When I got…
11/23/2011 So troubled daughter has a new boyfriend—and she’s really smitten with him. She’s physically, emotionally, and mentally attracted to him and what he represents. They’re moving fast and have even changed their Facebook statuses (I guess that’s a huge deal for young people). It would normally be just fine, young love, an “awwww” moment, but they’re moving really fast. She’s been on cloud nine and tells me how special he makes her feel and how he goes out of…
10/26/2011 Just when I thought it was going to be smooth sailing, the water got rough and salty again. I had my mom over to help me put up curtains, and before we could get open the package to the double rod set, troubled daughter called me—totally hysterical. She had been in another accident. She was on her way somewhere on the freeway, and the driver in front of her slammed on their brakes, causing my daughter to slam on…
10/21/2011 I agonized a bit over how to broach the subject of the tattoo with “troubled teen.” At first I was angry and wanted to lecture and yell like the old me. Then, after a day went by (we sometimes go two or three days without crossing paths, so this was normal), I was calmer. I talked to my boyfriend who’s had his share of experiences in this regard, and he shed some light on the subject. Our discussion, if…