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Category: parenting

When My Teens “Let” Me Hang Out with Them, Part 1 (of 2)

When My Teens “Let” Me Hang Out with Them, Part 1 (of 2)

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3/30/2011 My girls don’t really mind my company at times. I’ve been known to be fun—as long as we’re doing what they like to do! We’ve found some common interests—though I’m happy just spending time with my children when they’re amenable, lucid, open, or just plain willing to indulge me in a few minutes of their time. When I really think about it, we’ve actually smiled, laughed, or just plain enjoyed ourselves while doing these activities: Shopping for them: clothes,…

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Parenting Your Teenager

Parenting Your Teenager

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3/30/2011 This is a really sensible, albeit liberal, article from an Ann Landers column from a long time ago. It’s been shared and modified a hundred times, but it’s still interesting stuff. Thought I’d pass it on. 6 Things for Parents of Teenagers to Stop Doing (and what to do now instead) “When this column was first published nationally a few months ago, I got many many letters thanking me for writing. I did get one letter from an older…

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What about My Other Child? The One Who Reminds Me That I’m a Good Mother.

What about My Other Child? The One Who Reminds Me That I’m a Good Mother.

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I’ve spent a lot of time talking and fretting over my younger child with all the problems, past and present. Sure, she’s been a major focus of my parenthood, and the subject of this blog, but I’ve realized that it’s not fair. Leaving my first born out doesn’t paint a complete picture of my mothering skills, my life, my younger daughter’s life, or our family in general. First born is the closest thing to an angel that you’ll ever get….

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This Mom Needs a BREAK

This Mom Needs a BREAK

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2/2/2011 Is it okay to go out of town for a few nights and leave this daughter to her own devices? I was originally supposed to go on a major vacation with my mother for two weeks, but because of political unrest (the trip was to Egypt), the tour was cancelled and our visit is postponed until further notice. So, I reduced my vacation time, but need a break pretty desperately. I want to get out of town and just…

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New Thing, Nose Ring

New Thing, Nose Ring

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1/31/2011 A weekend that wasn’t too bad—possibly even good. I was busy with my friends all day Saturday and my daughter had the day off from me (and from any responsibilities). So it was a win-win situation. I went skiing and she watched TV and dyed her hair black. We had our usual Sunday together, which started off with me being the grumpy one for a change. Her cats scratched at my door and jumped on the doorknob to try…

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Sunday Brunch

Sunday Brunch

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1/24/2011 The honeymoon is officially over, but the marriage will last for sure. Yesterday was our “Sunday brunch” day that my dear daughter started a few months ago. Unfortunately, it was rather unpleasant and we never had brunch—not even breakfast or lunch. We did have a snack…does that count? After allowing her to sleep nearly 15 hours (in a row), she woke up in a foul mood. No matter how much I tried to not let it happen, her attitude…

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Can You Trust a Teenager? I Can Only Pray.

Can You Trust a Teenager? I Can Only Pray.

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1/22/2011 Only a small skirmish with my daughter today, about trust. She worked this morning and like a good girl, came home afterward. She even checked in with her nana (even though Nana forgot she made that agreement with her) and helped me bake brownies. Today I spent the day getting ready for a little get-together I’m having, and it was understood that my daughter would be home. We did get along and my chill had warmed a little toward…

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I Am Two Mothers, Part 3 (of 3)

I Am Two Mothers, Part 3 (of 3)

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1/22/2011 The mother with the troubled daughter is aware that her daughter is manipulative and knows when to turn on the charm. The attitude is sweet and sugary when she wants something or is about to knowingly do something wrong. The sweetness thwarts suspicion and stops this mom like kryptonite. This mother also faces an ugly, black attitude when the daughter doesn’t like what she hears. The attitude comes with razor-sharp words, condescension, and flippant disrespect that pushes every button…

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I Am Two Mothers, Part 2 (of 3)

I Am Two Mothers, Part 2 (of 3)

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1/21/2011 The mother with the troubled daughter is suspicious of anyone her daughter calls “friend.” Their experience has been almost entirely negative—the daughter plus any one of those friends equals raves, drugs, sexual activity, various illegal activity, curfew violations, smoking, drinking, and general badness. The friendships have not lasted, usually because someone has caused another to get into trouble, and the drama and hard feelings cause the flimsy bonds to disintegrate. The friendships are based on nothing solid—no emotional ties,…

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I Am Two Mothers, Part 1 (of 3)

I Am Two Mothers, Part 1 (of 3)

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1/21/2011 I have a split personality, minus the mental illness (though some days I’m not so sure about that). I am two mothers in one body—one mother whose daughter is more of a challenge than she should have to handle, and another mother who hides this reality from the world. The mother with the troubled daughter worries to the point of having ulcers, muscle aches, heart aches, hours of weeping, and bouts of anxiety. She lies awake at night wondering…

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