9/26/2012 How does so much time go by? Life changes so quickly and I keep forgetting to chronicle all the adventures and important minutiae. As of August 1, 2012, my formerly troubled teen moved back in with me. I asked her to, believe it or not. I didn’t like the way she was living—her apartment was dirty and, even though I went over to clean it every now and again, it was painful to see how gross she decided to…
3/2/2012 I started this blog when my younger of two daughters was 16 and had been trouble with a capital T since 6th grade. Over the past couple of years—after 4 wrecked cars, countless court dates, no less than three bags of pot discovered, and so much more—I can say with great certainty that I don’t think my daughter is a fuck-up after all. Daughter’s been working at a very good job for over a year and is loved and respected…
2/6/2012 The empty nest thing is working out ok, I must say. The highlight is having greatly reduced stress in my everyday life. Sure, I still worry like a madwoman about my girls, but I am learning that no news is good news. If I don’t hear from them for a day or two, they’ve told me I can assume it’s because they’re simply busy going about their lives. Not having their everyday issues in my face is a mad…
1/10/2012 I’m very proud of my formerly troubled daughter. She is just like her mother and older sister in that she has a tremendous work ethic and strives to excel. Here’s some of the compliments, stats, and accolades she’s forwarded to me in the last few months. This is a good foundation for her future and tells me she really is my real child! After a collection phone call, a customer asked to speak to my daughter’s manager. This is…
1/9/2012 I’ve discovered the number-one reason to accept your empty nest status—it is the single best way to improve your relationships with your children, especially the troublesome ones. Suddenly, you see all your hard work, nurturing, guiding, and good sense flowing from your offspring. It’s sort of like when they were little—you’d send them to a friend’s house and the parents would tell you what great manners your child had, something you didn’t see so much at home! No longer…
12/22/2011 We celebrate Hanukkah—well, we used to. This year everything feels strange for me. The way I would explain it is I’ve been blindfolded and twirled for five full minutes then released. Now I’m utterly disoriented and have to carry on as if floor isn’t do-si-do-ing beneath me. I miss my children and the candlelighting and the gift-giving and the latke-making and the card-writing. I know that they had to grow up eventually, but I just didn’t think it would…
12/16/2011 So what the hell is wrong with me? Today is my daughter’s official move out day and, despite all my cheering that I couldn’t wait for this to finally happen, I actually feel like crying. I love her soooooo much and already miss her and am worried sick about her being on her own. Despite knowing logically that she’s smart and savvy, and can handle the responsibility, it’s the same as admitting that she doesn’t need me anymore. She’s…
1/19/2011 My dear daughter has been back at home for about a week now and it’s actually been a little difficult for me. Not that I don’t love having her around or know in my heart it’s where she belongs, it’s that she brings a storm with her. She’s not depressed anymore, so I’m not talking about a black cloud that surrounds her, I mean life just doesn’t seem orderly. She keeps odd hours, her room is a mess, her…
1/13/2011 Here’s an update I didn’t think I’d be making any time soon. My “troubled teen,” whom I thought had made it in the big world is BACK HOME. I definitely have many mixed feelings about it. I was beginning to get used to the peace and cleanliness in my house (not the quiet). It was effortless to be home—for over a month it was orderly, organized, clean, and good-smelling. There were no children, no big dirty shoes, no litter…
1/11/2011 My independent daughter is trying really hard to take care of herself and handle all the responsibilities of living on her own, paying her bills, tending to her three cats…but she’s asked me many times for “a few bucks.” I had to pay her rent this month because her hours were reduced at work and she simply didn’t have enough. When I asked her how much she needed, it was the entire amount. She’s seeing how expensive life and…