February 1, 2024It’s a brand-new year and I’ve been meaning to write something new for a while, but have been sidetracked by my own shit and unrest. Happily, though, my formerly troubled daughter is making me so very proud. Every day, I feel prouder and prouder, and worry less and less.
May 30, 2023 Wow, time goes fast and things change on a dime (but cost a LOT of dollars!). My dear daughter is halfway to 30 years old, alive and healthy, and somewhat stable. She doesn’t talk to me much, but there’s been no falling out or anything earth-shattering (that I’m aware of). That’s not to say she hasn’t had her issues and pissed me off here and there. Job: She got a job 7 months ago at a software…
12/10/2021 I’ve been reading through my posts from over the years, and I see some disturbing patterns both in myself and my daughter. No matter how old she is, and she’s two days away from 28 years old, she has a fully orchestrated routine. In the last year and a half, she’s definitely matured, so I give her that. Her good periods last much longer, and her reasoning skills are much better. Where she just can’t get it together is…
2/13/2019 My troubled daughter (I still habitually label her this way) is back in town and I’ve been ruminating over this new situation. She arrived two days ago after driving 1,500 miles straight through with her location services on but turned them off as soon as she got to her boyfriend’s house. I received one text to tell me she was soooo tired, and haven’t heard anything since. Hello? I’m here. I’m your mother. Tap, tap. Is this thing on? So here I am, feeling: Excitement: I…
2/6/2019 Today is Wednesday and if it weren’t for being busy at work with so many nice people, I’d probably be crying in the corner somewhere. It’s hard to concentrate or give a shit about my work, but I’m 55 and have learned to fake it like a pro. I’m a great phony smiler and laugher, and I’m experienced at passing people in the hall with a hearty, “Hey, how ya doin’?” But inside, I’m destroyed. I’m trying to be…
2/4/2019 She will just not let me rest in peace. Today is Monday, and I’m back at work after a very roller-coastery weekend. My husband and I had a lot of good times—went to a play, hiked a bunch, and even socialized with friends. However, my daughter started with some rather startling texts on Saturday morning, and I was sick with migraines for the rest of the weekend. I had to medicate to deal with the symptoms, and even slept…
9/18/2018 So one day I got a text message from my daughter that she would “answer all my questions,” but used some cryptic wording that got under my skin. I have a lot of questions for and about her on a regular basis, but in the interest in keeping a relationship, however thin, I hold back. Because one of the words she used was “rough,” I got nervous and couldn’t take it, so I called her. And she answered! She…
5/23/2018 My daughter has been in her new city for about seven months now, and she’s finally thriving. Not doing well financially—I admittedly help her pay her rent—but she has a job, a couple of friends, and doesn’t complain at all.Before I go on, I need to defend myself for helping her with rent. If I don’t, she might: End up homeless Live in her car Give up on life Move home Choice d is the worst one for me…
1/29/2018 The worst part, and this is so terrible, is that she even lied about who she stayed with when she came home. Her sister ratted on her, so this is how I know, but I have to pretend not to know, which is emotionally painful and makes me physically ill. She cheated on her inappropriate boyfriend with her old boyfriend, whom I used to like, but now has learned to treat her like shit because she allows it. She…
12/4/2017 It’s too bad that my daughter is having such a tough time finding a good job. She had a pretty good thing here, even if it wasn’t that high paying. We thought for sure her skills would translate into something equally good, but it’s been two months and she’s only been offered a warehouse job at just slightly above minimum wage. She’s very disappointed, but hasn’t given up. Maybe it’s because it’s the holiday season and hiring managers are…