1/29/2018 The worst part, and this is so terrible, is that she even lied about who she stayed with when she came home. Her sister ratted on her, so this is how I know, but I have to pretend not to know, which is emotionally painful and makes me physically ill. She cheated on her inappropriate boyfriend with her old boyfriend, whom I used to like, but now has learned to treat her like shit because she allows it. She…
1/29/2018 Time for an update. Daughter has been in her new city nearly four months, and she’s not doing great—not following through on all the promises to me and to herself. She’s as behind as an adult as she ever was, the difference being I can’t see it first-hand. We had a crisis, though, so I had to swoop in . . . again . . . and for what? First the lies. Even though she’s 24, she still lies…
12/4/2017 I’m very proud of something my daughter did—for herself—that seems very healthy and forward-moving. She took herself to a psychiatrist to see about her depression and other issues. She asked me for medical background and history, and went to the doctor armed with information. They determined that she has ADHD and a binge-eating disorder. She’s been prescribed medication, which she’s now been on for a week. I look forward to seeing positive results of this treatment plan. I’m not a…
12/4/2017 It’s too bad that my daughter is having such a tough time finding a good job. She had a pretty good thing here, even if it wasn’t that high paying. We thought for sure her skills would translate into something equally good, but it’s been two months and she’s only been offered a warehouse job at just slightly above minimum wage. She’s very disappointed, but hasn’t given up. Maybe it’s because it’s the holiday season and hiring managers are…
12/4/2017 My daughter has been in her new city for about two months now and I’ve softened my anger toward her about the way she left the condo. If you read my last post or two, you’ll learn that she used to live in a property my husband and I own and trusted her with. She claimed that she did her very best to keep it nice and clean and damage free, but when I went in to do a…
11/2/2017 I’m still reeling from my daughter’s departure. I’m not talking about missing her or worrying about her or being nervous about her decision. No, I’m pissed off. And beyond anxious. And massively broken-hearted. On Friday, October 13, 2017, she finally got into her car (I turned over the title to her, so the car and the insurance are all hers now) and started on the road to Portland for her new life. She spent a long time planning her…
9/11/2017 I’ve said recently that I wish my daughter would just move away so I could breathe. She’s been talking about moving out of state for a very long time, but she decided to just do it. Not think too much, just go. Like within the month. She’s plotting and planning, updating her resume and applying for jobs, researching neighborhoods and applying for rentals, and planning when she’s going to give her notice at work. All of a sudden I’m…
9/8/2017 Have to write something or I’ll burst. It’s just amazing how things change from day to day. Yesterday I had a jumble of emotions and could hardly keep them in check. Thank heaven I had colonics yesterday, or it all would’ve been backed up to my ribcage. Speaking of colonics, I do have a problem with my system (stress, medication, age, genetics, stress, stress, anxiety, stress) so every once in a while I get cleaned out. I skipped a…
9/6/2017 Yesterday was a letter day; today is a journal day. I’m feeling so many feelings over my formerly troubled teen—and now confounding adult—daughter. I need to express those feelings or I’ll cry and one of my coworkers will ask me what’s wrong and I’ll be embarrassed and my makeup will run and I’ll want to go home and I’ll get none of my work done and I’ll lose my job and I won’t be able to shop at Ross…
9/5/2017 I’m ready to write a Dear John letter to both my children. I’m just so frustrated and over these incessant complaints. They’re 23 and 25 and acting like spoiled children. After all THEY put ME through! They want to be happy, they have dreams, they shouldn’t have to work like this, they shouldn’t have to do what they’re doing just to pay the bills . . . Man, shut the eff up. I’m 54, and have worked since I…