Motherhood is a trip . . . are we there yet?
12/9/2011 Underneath it all, I have a tremendous amount of guilt. I have bouts where I feel so damn guilty about who and what my daughter has become, even though logically I know that much of what’s happened is inherent in her, and is her doing. I see how successful my other child is and,…
12/9/2011 As this year comes to a close, and Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year’s are right at my feet, I realize that the experiences I’ve had cannot be exactly be categorized. There have been some tremendously rewarding moments—like buying my house—and some tragically frightening moments—like picking up my stoned daughter from a shitty park in the…
12/6/2011 Some recent facts and findings: I found a homemade bong made from a plastic water bottle. The thing was configured with a hole punched in the side and tin foil around the lip, and the smell was obvious. It was right on my daughter’s floor—I was just looking for the lint brush. My daughter allowed…
12/2/2011 Sadly, life with my troubled teen has been dismal and miserable for the past few weeks. I’m a bundle of nerves, stressed to the point of physical illness, and spend my days grinding my teeth and feeling like I’m suffocating. I can’t say or do anything right; even my most innocuous comments, like “Have…
11/23/2011 Today is Wednesday, but let me backtrack to Tuesday night. I’m a sucker. I won’t learn. I always trust, hope, and pray that things will be better. We didn’t fight Tuesday morning when I drove her to work. There was little communication throughout the day. This deserves a mention—until this past week, she was…
11/23/2011 So troubled daughter has a new boyfriend—and she’s really smitten with him. She’s physically, emotionally, and mentally attracted to him and what he represents. They’re moving fast and have even changed their Facebook statuses (I guess that’s a huge deal for young people). It would normally be just fine, young love, an “awwww” moment,…
10/26/2011 Just when I thought it was going to be smooth sailing, the water got rough and salty again. I had my mom over to help me put up curtains, and before we could get open the package to the double rod set, troubled daughter called me—totally hysterical. She had been in another accident. She…
10/21/2011 Brain scans show risk is more fun when friends watch. Published on October 16, 2011 by Nancy Darling, Ph.D. I love Car Talk, NPR’s car centered talk show starring Tom and Ray Maggliozi. The Car Guys claim that many of the dumbest things ever done are preceded by the immortal words Hey guys! Watch this! I think they call…
Credit: Nancy Darling, PhD, (2011), http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/thinking-about-kids/201110/teens-respond-pleasure-not-pain-parent-accordingly 10/21/2011 It’s not often that I read a scientific paper and immediately change how I parent my child. But I did last week. I was reading a series of pieces by developmental psychologist, Laurence Steinberg, first recipient of the Klaus Jacobs award for “groundbreaking contributions to the improvement of the living…
10/21/2011 I agonized a bit over how to broach the subject of the tattoo with “troubled teen.” At first I was angry and wanted to lecture and yell like the old me. Then, after a day went by (we sometimes go two or three days without crossing paths, so this was normal), I was calmer….