6/18/2025
Well, it’s official. My children are done with me. I’m stunned and heartbroken, but I’m doing whatever I can to handle it and live my life. After not doing too much of a chase & beg, I was able to feel a little back to normal with my older daughter, while my younger one (the main focus of this blog), was in and out—mostly communicating when she needed help financially or when her yoga studio dues hit a glitch. She also “let” me send out some resumes on her behalf, which unfortunately weren’t frutiful. Without getting a thank you or a request for further help, I dropped that project. She’s 31 years old and needs to handle it herself.
I can only summarize the interactions I’ve had with my family—and that includes my sister and her children, because they all factor in to this total disconnect.
My sister invited my husband and me to attend her boyfriend’s birthday party at his new house, which is five minutes away from my sister’s. It happened to be on Saturday evening, the day before Mother’s Day. I knew my husband couldn’t (and probably wouldn’t want) to go, so I hesitated. But then I thought, Why don’t I make a weekend of it? I can spend time with my sister and then be with both my children for Mother’s Day, something I haven’t done in years. In my mind, it would be magical and would be a way to bring us all together. So I said YES! It was about three weeks in advance, and I told my kids that I’d be in for a visit and would come up with some things to do. My older daughter said it was great, but my younger one let me know she already had plans to go to some show in LA or something and she’d miss me. Sorry, Mom.
I made some plans for an event before Mother’s Day and bought tickets for my older daughter and me. One day before I was to travel, my younger one said she canceled her plans and would join us. I was happy about that, but know full well that SHE didn’t cancel; someone else did. I also planned a little trip to a cute town an hour and a half away for the actual Mother’s Day. It seemed like a perfect plan: fun event, party for my sister’s boyfriend, Mother’s Day road trip, and home the next day.
The first night was pleasant; the three of us went for a sushi dinner and my older daughter, who has a good job, treated. I didn’t expect that, but it was nice of her. I stayed overnight at my older daughter’s. The event the next morning with my girls was fun—it was called Bubble Planet and they played and acted like children a little. It was an icebreaker of sorts. We had a nice lunch at a trendy bagel shop and relaxed a bit afterward. I then packed up and left them to drive the hour to my sister’s town on the party day. I brought expensive gifts for my sister for Mother’s Day and for my niece and nephew. I also brought a really nice gift for the birthday boy. We spent a little time chatting before it was time to get going to the party. I helped my sister get the catered food and then set up for the party. The party was actually fun and their friends were warm and welcoming.
But there’s always a fuck me. My kids are mad at my sister, and my sister is mad at them. They weren’t invited to his party until I think my sister ended up feeling guilty and sent them an invitation the day of. My kids were offended and declined. They probably thought I was a traitor for going, but I wouldn’t have traveled there had it not been for that initial invitation. I already started off in the middle of a tense situation.
I woke up early the next morning, Mother’s Day, packed and headed for my older daughter’s home again, where I would spend my last night. She spent the morning complaining about my sister and how she felt wronged. I learned that my sister is the worst hypocrite I’ve ever met. My daughter isn’t allowed to have a relationship with her uncle, my sister’s ex, but I found out that my sister speaks to my ex husband all the time (I’ve been divorced from him since 1988) and he even appeared on her behalf at her divorce proceedings. He’s met my niece and nephew and MY DAUGHTER! It was the first time my daughter told me this, two years after the fact. She was remorseful and ashamed and I was sick to my stomach—and pissed and confused. Of course, I’m in support of my daughter and how she was manipulated. My sister is very manipulative, even of me.
Mother’s Day had the potential to be fun, but the traffic was monstrous and we spent about six hours total in the car, and maybe two hours in that town. Neither of them wrote me a card, a note, or a text message, and there were certainly no presents. My younger daughter purposely didn’t wear a bra and showed every one of her tattooss because she knows it bugs me, but I didn’t say a goddamned word about any of it. She also didn’t like it there; she felt out of place because it was kind of a bougie town. She didn’t complain, but she clearly wanted to leave. My older daughter did all the driving, which made me feel guilty, but I couldn’t have known the traffic would be that horrific. My younger daughter mostly slept or texted in the back seat. When we finally got home, my younger daughter wanted to avoid her neighbors and asked to be dropped off at the corner. She exited the car without saying good-bye, and that’s the last I’ve seen or heard from her. That was May 10 and it’s now June 18.
I’ve called and texted her, and even sent her money (unsolicited, so that’s on me), but I’ve gotten no responses. She blocked me on Instagram, so my guess is she’s blocked my number too. I literally have no idea why she made this decision, but she’s done such things in the past, so I don’t panic anymore. I’m hurt and confused because for a while, we had such a pleasant relationship. I have no answers—just a lot of heaviness.