February 1, 2024
It’s a brand-new year and I’ve been meaning to write something new for a while, but have been sidetracked by my own shit and unrest.

Happily, though, my formerly troubled daughter is making me so very proud. Every day, I feel prouder and prouder, and worry less and less.

1. She is thriving in her new city. While she hasn’t made too many friends, she’s become very close with her sister, who lives minutes away, and has even spent time with MY sister and her children. There’s been some important bonding, caring, and love happening. My niece is 11 and my nephew is 16, and they think their cousin is pretty cool and they like her. And they love her dogs, which definitely bring people together. I’m sure at first she seemed like a stranger, having not really known her most of their lives, but she’s becoming part of their lives. She’ll never replace the special bond they have with their other, special cousin, but she can be a nice addition. My sister is even OK with her, despite some rickety history between them when my daughter was at her worst. I really don’t blame my sister for putting up some walls, but I’m pleased that they’re coming down a little.
2. Her mental health is soaring with the help of a good psychiatrist who prescribed proper meds, and a great talk therapist, whom my daughter visits every week in person. She found both practitioners herself, which makes her progress more meaningful. She wanted to feel better, and she made it happen. I pay for the therapy, which is a small fucking fortune, but it’s worth it to have her be in such a fine place.
3. I just visited both my daughters last month, and it was a fabulous trip. I spent more time with my younger daughter because her big sister just got a promotion at work and had just started in her new position (I’m SOOO proud of her!!). We had such a nice time together, just talking about important and not-do-important things, bantering back and forth, and just being in each other’s company. She even brought up some concerns in such a mature way, it made me cry. I really think the therapist is helping her identify, deal with, and discuss her emotions. It was beautiful. I also saw how she interacts with the people around her—her sister, my sister, her cousins, clerks in stores, wait staff—and she was so nice and patient. The old, unhappy, high daughter would be a bitch and make faces and comments, and make me want to go home.
4. She’s not only nailing her position as a resident manager, where she’s become indispensable to her boss, but she just landed a new part-time job as an executive assistant to a woman who runs a program for people with ADHD and other neurodiverse issues. It’s within walking distance to her home and down the street from her sister. She found it herself and totally impressed the woman both virtually and in person. She’s excited to start in a few days, and I can’t wait to hear about it!
5. On top of the other accomplishments, she’s also attending school—five classes. And—school is free! You can’t get better than that! Being busy will be very good for her, and she might even make new friends.
6. She took control of her health by doing several things. She went to the dentist, a big plus, and she had her IUD removed. It was painful and they discovered an STD that she didn’t know she had but had been causing pain and other awful symptoms. She was put on antibiotics, and she said she felt 100 times better almost immediately. She said, “I feel like a new person.”
7. So far, in 7-plus months, this young woman has made so many improvements in her life just by changing her environment and going for it! She still has days when she’s angry or upset or just plain grumpy, but she gets through them properly, and vents to the right people. She realizes that she is loved and supported, and not alone in this world. As far as I know, she’s not dating anyone—which is good, because that’s where she takes wrong turns every time. I know she’s a little lonely, but having a partner will come when she’s ready mentally.
8. She’s been talking about removing some of her ugly tattoos. Needless to say, I support that!!!