12/4/2017 I’m very proud of something my daughter did—for herself—that seems very healthy and forward-moving. She took herself to a psychiatrist to see about her depression and other issues. She asked me for medical background and history, and went to the doctor armed with information. They determined that she has ADHD and a binge-eating disorder. She’s been prescribed medication, which she’s now been on for a week. I look forward to seeing positive results of this treatment plan. I’m not a proponent of medication, but she needs help coping in this world, and I’m not able to help her properly.

She was actually diagnosed with ADHD as a young child and with an eating disorder as a teenager, but it wasn’t fully explained to me. I thought she was misunderstood and misdiagnosed, thinking that she wasn’t bulimic or anorexic so couldn’t understand why was she part of their group sessions, but she also fought receiving counseling for her problems. So overall, it was a disaster at a cost of thousands of dollars. Until the past few years, BED wasn’t recognized by the DSM5, which means treatment for it wasn’t covered by insurance.

Now, I’m reading about it more diligently, and it sounds like my daughter. Now I recall that I used to find empty junk food wrappers under her bed and in her backpack and shoved into her closet. That’s what prompted me to go to the therapist, but I don’t think I handled it well. I forced her to go and I don’t think I was as understanding and patient as I should have been

The description of this disorder is so terrible and sad, not to mention frightening, and I just want to wrap my arms around her and comfort my baby and tell her everything is going to be OK. I feel so much guilt over not recognizing all the signs of her mental and psychological issues—and it took me so long to see that she was self-medicating. She’s still so private and doesn’t tell me what the root cause it, so I pray that she’ll also go to a therapist and talk about it. (More prayers from someone who doesn’t believe in God. What’s going on?)