12/6/2011

Some recent facts and findings:

• I found a homemade bong made from a plastic water bottle. The thing was configured with a hole punched in the side and tin foil around the lip, and the smell was obvious. It was right on my daughter’s floor—I was just looking for the lint brush.
• My daughter allowed me a peek into how bad she used to be. She said whenever she was with a particular friend, they were high on ecstasy or Xanax or both. According to my daughter, this friend was also a “slutbag.” I remember speaking with her mother half a dozen times about the girls. According to the mom, her daughter was a confirmed good girl who was a clean and sober virgin.
• The other friend that my daughter spent most of her time with introduced her to raves. She was a bit more mellow and preferred pot and Xanax; in fact, when this friend crashed my older daughter’s car, she was messed up on Xanax.
• My daughter admitted that she stole a lot of money from her nana—something she feels so terrible about. At the time, she figured that her nana had a lot of money and wouldn’t miss it.
• All the expensive items that my daughter had stolen during her big rave days, were stolen or misplaced at the raves. This includes an expensive hair straightener, Ugg boots, a BlackBerry phone, and an iPod. She also lost money.
• She alluded to doing things she can’t believe she did based on being high all the time. When I asked her what made her stop, she said she didn’t like being out of control and spending so much money.
• Based on this information, she asserted that I should be glad that she “only” smokes weed now.
• She also told me I “let” her off too easily when I found out what she was doing. I don’t see how that’s true. I took everything away. I admitted to her that I wasn’t prepared for something like that—I was in shock and quite horrified and beside myself. She said she understood that. I asked her if she remembers how volatile she was and how phony she was. She was (and is) quite the actress. She said maybe.
• I asked her if she was angry that I wasn’t even tougher on her. She said it wouldn’t have made a difference. She was going to do what she was going to do and would find a way—through lying, sneaking, and manipulating. I can’t argue with that.
• I asked her if she thought we needed to do family counseling together. Before I finished my question she said, “No! We do just fine on our own.”