Original Publish Date: July 15, 2011
I never realized how critical it is to continually discuss personal safety with your teenage girls. I mean, I knew it was important, of course, and I have in a general sense, but you never think it’s going to apply to your family. But I was wrong. My older daughter was accosted on her way home from the gym last night. She lives in another city in a neighboring state, so she couldn’t call me to come help. I didn’t know anything until the ordeal was over.
This girl is wonderful in every way—she has the ability to see the best in people. In fact, when she first saw this creep, she smiled at him, thinking that being nice would keep him away. In this case, it didn’t matter what she did; he had it in his mind to follow her and harass her, and he ended up terrifying her. He followed her on both sides of the street, walking at her pace, until at one point he grabbed her arm and pushed himself up against her. He taunted her with comments like, “Mmmm, girl. I like you all sweaty from your workout.” and “What’s the matter, don’t you like Black people?”
She broke free and headed toward the train station and ran down the stairs (I immediately thought of crime shows where the subway station or the parking garage is where you’ll surely meet your demise—so you never go alone). She put her payment in the turnstile and he was right on her and went through on her turn. By the grace of God, there were a number of people in the area to absorb her, and she sat next to a young woman until the train came.
The train came along, and hallelujah he was gone. As soon as she got off the train in her neighborhood, she called me, absolutely hysterical. I could hear her body shaking right through the phone. I kept repeating two things: thank God you’re okay and NEVER AGAIN. She’s so lucky it ended so well; it could’ve been so much worse, SO much worse. She could have been raped or killed—what a disgusting thought, I can’t go there.
She was too terrified and frozen to report this incident to the police and I doubt she’d be able to identify him; it’s a scary thought that he might be out there ready to pounce on another naïve young woman. Sadly, this is going to change my daughter’s sunny outlook on life. She felt so vulnerable and small, and it’s going to affect her more deeply than she realizes.
According to an article on www.feminist.com, here are some crime facts that are sincerely startling:
- Every two minutes, somewhere in America, someone is sexually assaulted. (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) calculation based on 2000 National Crime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice)
- One out of every six American women have been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. (Prevalence, Incidence and Consequences of Violence Against Women Survey, National Institute of Justice and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1998)
- Factoring in unreported rapes, about 5% – one out of twenty – of rapists will ever spend a day in jail. 19 out of 20 will walk free. (Probability statistics based on US Department of Justice Statistics)
- Fewer than half (48%) of all rapes and sexual assaults are reported to the police (DOJ 2001).
- Females ages 12 to 24 are at the greatest risk for experiencing a rape or sexual assault (DOJ 2001).
- About 81% of rape victims are white; 18% are black; 1% are of other races. (Violence Against Women, Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Dept. of Justice, 1994.)
I immediately went online and found an industrial strength pepper spray she can carry on her keychain, and it’s being shipped as I write this. I know it’s not the solution to the violence that crosses her path—or any of our paths—at any given moment, but if it can give her a moment’s peace of mind, that’s a start.