Original publish date: January 2011
I’ve spent a lot of time talking and fretting over my younger child with all the problems, past and present. Sure, she’s been a major focus of my parenthood, and the subject of this blog, but I’ve realized that it’s not fair. Leaving my first born out doesn’t paint a complete picture of my mothering skills, my life, my younger daughter’s life, or our family in general. First born is the closest thing to an angel that you’ll ever get. When she was born, I swear, the heavens opened up and God’s chorus sang a medley. She was not only a beautiful baby, but she was calm and born with a smile on her face. Her big, sparkling brown eyes looked into mine and that was it. She was, is, and always will be a mama’s girl.
She now lives in the Bay Area of California, which just about kills me. It has been a good experience for her—something she needed to do to have freedom and independence, but the distance is difficult to get used to. It’s not even a year yet, but it feels like forever. She’s too far to visit by car, and I can’t afford to take frequent flights there from where I live. Since she moved away, I’ve only seen her three times for just a few days.
I’m thinking about it now because she’s home for spring break from school. She has such a big presence—from the moment she walks into a room, she fills it up with joy and love. I can’t explain it. I love having her near. We don’t need to do much—just running errands or eating together is peaceful for me. She’s open-hearted and tells me what she thinks, feels, does, and plans. I feel part of her life, not just navigating around it waiting for the ball to drop. Honestly, if she wasn’t my child, I would want her as my friend.
Besides just totally LIKING and LOVING my beloved older daughter, I’m soooo proud of her. She has come to know and appreciate her own gifts—her outgoing personality, her ability to talk to anyone (regardless of age or position), her fantastic sense of humor, her charm, her intellect, her beauty, and her capacity to love and be loved. She is a great student, a conscientious and responsible young woman, kind friend, loving daughter, hard worker…I have such faith in her and know she’ll be successful, well-educated, and have an interesting life.
Whatever I’ve done wrong to make my other daughter so rebellious against me, I am comforted by the fact that I have a child who tells me that she couldn’t imagine a better mother than the one she has!