2/2/2011 Is it okay to go out of town for a few nights and leave this daughter to her own devices? I was originally supposed to go on a major vacation with my mother for two weeks, but because of political unrest (the trip was to Egypt), the tour was cancelled and our visit is postponed until further notice.

So, I reduced my vacation time, but need a break pretty desperately. I want to get out of town and just forget I have any responsibilities, problems–or dependents. I work so hard every day, and my daughter has been a challenge forever, so should I feel guilty about thinking of myself? I keep everything afloat, pay all the bills, take care of everyone’s needs, and keep a smile on my face. Can’t I just drive out to Vegas and have some fun? Nothing major; I’m no party animal and I have a one-drink limit before I’m tipsy! I don’t gamble and I can barely keep my eyes open after 10:30 p.m., so I’ll be coming home in one piece. Nah, I don’t feel guilty.

Can I trust her? Probably not, but I’m taking my chances. She already has no curfew, so it’ll be no big deal if she stays out half the night. She doesn’t usually have people over because I hate having a mess and all her friends smoke, so she doesn’t bother bringing them over. If she were to have friends over while I’m away, I’d know the minute I stepped in the house and I’d say something—or a lot of somethings. She wouldn’t want to deal with my inevitable bitching, so she probably won’t have anyone over.

So, I’ve decided. I’m getting out of town and I’m just not going to think about what’s happening at home. I do enough of that all day, every day, so I’m giving myself permission to take a load off. Maybe I’ll have two drinks and stay out until midnight. I’ll check in (probably about 10 times a day), but I’ll be away and will be able to enjoy a little disconnected time to myself!

Wow, that was easier than I thought.