1/22/2011 Only a small skirmish with my daughter today, about trust. She worked this morning and like a good girl, came home afterward. She even checked in with her nana (even though Nana forgot she made that agreement with her) and helped me bake brownies.

Today I spent the day getting ready for a little get-together I’m having, and it was understood that my daughter would be home. We did get along and my chill had warmed a little toward her, but my trust is pretty fragile at this moment. She asked what time my thing started, the answer to which was 6 hours from then, and she had the nerve to ask if she could go “chill with one of my homies.” Ugh, that damn street slang. I asked her to whom she was referring, and it was someone she’s told me several times is a “douche.” I wasn’t seeing the appeal and said, “Are we going to start this shit again?”

Of course she was mad, but she didn’t argue. But her face showed animosity and I told her it’s about trust. Why should I trust her? She set my trust back by miles–so how will she prove herself? She just argued and got defensive, which doesn’t work with me. I told her that she needs to follow through on her promises and responsibilities between now and February 7 or else I can’t leave on a major overseas trip. I’m accompanying my mother to Egypt, her lifelong dream, and I don’t want to have to disappoint her because my daughter effed up again.

Please G-d, if you answer prayers from people who don’t often pray and NEVER go to services, I beg of you–let my daughter be a good, honest, trustworthy girl from now on. I’m praying because nothing else works. I’m a good person, G-d, can you throw me a bone?